In this episode of The Priority Lane podcast, host Nigel sits down with Nyoli Sue to explore her transformative journey from Australia to Sri Lanka. Nyoli shares her experiences of starting a tea company, overcoming personal tragedy, and finding solace in a new community. The conversation delves into the importance of mental health, the power of reinvention, and the unexpected paths life can take.
In this episode of the Priority Lane podcast, host Nigel engages in a heartfelt conversation with Nyoli Sue, who shares her remarkable journey from Australia to Sri Lanka.
Nyoli opens up about her experiences in starting a tea company, the personal tragedy she faced, and how she found healing and community in a new country.
The discussion highlights the significance of mental health, the courage to reinvent oneself, and the unexpected paths that life can offer.
Listeners will be inspired by Nyoli's resilience and her focus on what truly matters, offering valuable insights into prioritizing one's own well-being and embracing change.
Takeaways
Introduction to the Priority Lane Podcast
Nyoli's Journey to Sri Lanka
Overcoming Grief and Societal Expectations
Building a New Life and Community
The My Brokers App Development
Cultural Insights and Communication Challenges
The Importance of Downtime and Creativity
Living Boldly and Personal Advice
Nigel:
Welcome to the Priority Lane podcast, the show where we explore the power of doing less, but doing it better. In a world overflowing with noise, notifications, and never-ending to-do lists, true stories come from what you choose to ignore. Each episode, I sit down with leaders, creators, and top-performing professionals to uncover how they filter out the noise, focus on what matters, and design lives built on clarity, not chaos. We dive into the habits and decisions that shape our lives, the technologies that help them think smarter, not faster, and the leadership mindsets that put people, not KPIs, at the heart of every choice. From the discipline of saying no to the systems that amplify focus, to the simple practice of carving out time to give your brain a rest, this podcast is your invitation to slow down, zoom out, and operate with intention. If you're ready to step out of the reaction mode and into your priority line, you're in the right place. Now today, I'm pleased to introduce our guest for this episode, Nyoli Sue, a lady I've known for a very long time. However, she has known me longer. An interesting story. Whereas last week's guest, Namala, started his journey in Sri Lanka and lived in a number of countries before ending up in Dubai, Nyoli started the journey in Australia and is currently in Sri Lanka. How are you today, Nyoli?
Nyoli:
I'm fantastic. Thank you, and thank you for inviting me on your podcast.
Nigel:
No problems at all. Thank you for coming on. Now, do you want to share with the people your journey and how you found yourself in Sri Lanka?
Nyoli:
Well, I had a tea company or I started a tea company back in 2010 and I didn't know anything about tea. So, I thought I'd better learn. So, I came over to Sri Lanka to learn and I toured the tea fields and the tea factories and the factory where I was actually ordering my tea took me under their wing and taught me everything that I needed to know about tea. And then we did some research and development, created new blends and yeah, so that started my relationship with Sri Lanka, but it was a very strange experience the first time I landed. When the plane landed I felt, I don't know, it was like I was coming home or something. It was very bizarre because I'd never been here. I'd only ever spoken to people or, you know, over email on phone. And then when I walked out of the airport, and I could smell the smells and the noise and the heat that just envelops you, I was like, okay, I felt really comfortable. I felt really at home and it was a very odd feeling the whole time I was there for the first time and when I left I was so sad and it was a feeling that didn't leave me for a long time. So when I had the opportunity, when I shut down the business, I was going to tour the world for a while. And I thought I'll come to Sri Lanka first and see my friends. And that was six years ago. I'm still here. Haven't gone anywhere.
Nigel:
Okay. But I believe it wasn't just Australia to Sri Lanka. You moved around a bit and went to a couple of other places.
Nyoli:
Well, during COVID I went to Mexico so I lived in Mexico for six months and then from there I went to Italy for a month and then came back but my intention was always to come back here.
Nigel:
Okay, okay, great. Thank you for that. The priority lane. What does the priority lane mean to you and your life?
Nyoli:
Okay so I had a tragedy happen to me one that you know it's unbearable to think about and going through that and staying at home in Australia was very difficult for me because you've got reminders of all around you of the person you've lost and then you've got all these either well-intentioned or otherwise people you know expecting you to you have to grieve this way you can't act that way, shouldn't be laughing, you shouldn't be smiling, you know, and that sort of thing was very hard to live with. Having people, that pressure of how you're supposed to act when you're going through a grief process was very hard mentally. And so the priority lane for me was my mental health. Like having to live through what I live through was bad enough without having outsiders and other business people and people that surround you well-intentioned or not putting additional pressure on you. So for an example, I had a friend that would take me every Tuesday night out for trivia. And that was his way of spending time with me but me not having to think about what I'm going through. Whereas other people's thought that that was the wrong thing to do. Why are you going out? Why are you socializing? You know, it's too soon and all these other things. That got me thinking, people in my situation, they can fall in a heap. They can often end up homeless because they can't cope with the mental stress and the anguish they're going through. So I decided to keep myself busy and I come up with a plan. Okay, so I couldn't stand living where I was living. There was too many reminders. So I thought, right, I'm going to travel, get rid of my business and travel. So the first action was I'll need money or source of income. So I decided to do a TEFL course and teach English as a second language. So I went through that, I did my course and then it just by chance, I started looking online on, you know, where will I go in the world? Well, wherever there's a job, let's start there. And I started looking and what appeared on my phone was this school in Sri Lanka and it had a purple butterfly logo and my daughter's favorite animal was a butterfly there all over her room and her favorite color was purple and so that like just hit me it just jumped out at me and wow and it's in Sri Lanka so that this is obviously a sign so I emailed them straight away and I got a response straight away they responded well. And he said, can I call? So I said, yes, absolutely. And this lovely British man called me. He had had a teacher pull out on him and he needed somebody there in six weeks. And I was like, wow, okay. And then he asked me, why? Why are you coming? Why Sri Lanka? I told him a bit of my story. He had actually gone through the same thing two years prior. So we're on the same sort of wavelength there. So we agreed, yep, this is what's happening. So I had six weeks, I had a factory full of tea products and manufacturing equipment and everything. And so I had to get rid of everything in six weeks, sell everything. I cut down work to only three days a week, four days a week. And within six weeks, I'd landed in Sri Lanka. And so by doing that, yes, I was running away in one respect, but I needed to do that for my mental health. I needed to get away from all, you know, the gossip, the talking, the judging. Yeah. I needed just to clear my head and deal with what I was dealing with. And, and then just, you have to take every day as it comes. And so that's what I did. I came here and I...
Nigel:
Wow, wow, that's a...
Nyoli:
I immersed myself in a new community.
Nigel:
That's an unbelievable story. I mean, it just shows how the way the world moves in mysterious ways and when you needed a way out of a situation, there were signs there for you to follow. And I'm guessing if you went back 20 years ago, wouldn't have been in your plans to be living in Sri Lanka, but it's the way life took you.
Nyoli:
Exactly, exactly. It wasn't, I've done a lot of traveling. I've traveled the world pretty much and that was never on my bucket list. You know, it wasn't a priority at all until I had my tea company and then everything just, it just happened.
Nigel:
Okay, that's an amazing story. Well, that sort of ties us into our quirky historical fact. As you know, each episode we take a historical fact from the month that we're in, this month being December, and we're going back to December 1926, and this actually took place over 10 days, the disappearance of Agatha Christie. Born on the 15th of September 1890, Agatha Mary Clarissa Miller, later known as just Agatha Christie. In 1914, she married Archie, who later had an affair with his secretary, Nancy Neal. Not long after her mother died, Agatha found out about his affair and Archie requested a divorce. On the evening of 3 December 1926, the couple fought and Archie left Agatha and their daughter Rosalind to spend a weekend with Nancy and his friends, while Agatha left Rosalind with her maid and left the house. The next morning, her car was found at Newlands Corner in Guildford Surrey, several miles from her home. The car had her suitcase, and the headlights were on, but she was absent, which sparked the mystery. A massive investigation started and Archie and Nancy were the main suspects. Ten days later, she was found at Hydropathic Hotel in Harrogate, Yorkshire by the head waiter. She was disguised and going by the name Teresa Neal. When Archie arrived at the hotel, she was reading a newspaper about her disappearance and showed little recollection of who he was. Doctors concluded that Agatha had suffered from amnesia, which Archie publicly supported. In 1928, Agatha and Archie finally divorced and went their separate ways. In 1930, Agatha remarried to Max Malawan, a British archaeologist, and Archie married Nancy Neill. A definite answer for what happened to Agatha Christie has never been found and her case has become one of history's biggest mysteries. Now, Nyoli I think I know the answer to this, but have you ever felt like getting out of the priority lane and...
Nyoli:
You
Nigel:
Well, all I am really in pulling over and taking a break from life and disappearing for a while.
Nyoli:
Absolutely, that's what I did. I disappeared into a whole new community that had no idea about my history, what I went through. I was just an anonymous person and I had 90 students. I had three classes with 30 students each and they were 16 and over. My eldest was 81 years old. She was amazing. She was actually coming to Australia to visit her daughter who lived here as a doctor. I lived in Australia as a doctor and she wanted to learn English before she came. So yeah, it was amazing. These 90 wonderful people I surrounded myself with for six months. Yeah, it was brilliant. Loved it. And it was fantastic for my mental health. You know, wow, just not having anyone judge you or not thinking, feeling pressure on yourself to act a certain way or say certain things.
Nigel:
And then.
Nyoli:
You could just, for the first time in 12 months, I could learn to be myself again. And that was the best thing I could have done.
Nigel:
Well, yeah, so that you had a real sense of anonymity. No one knew who you were or your background. I guess that would have freed you up. How did you feel? Was it like reinventing yourself?
Nyoli:
Yeah, yeah absolutely. So you could you know make up your own past if you wanted to or just tell people the things you wanted them to know and the rest was just looking forward into the future. You didn't have to worry about the past so much.
Nigel:
Yeah, that's a great thing about traveling is the people you meet, don't know who you are. And you can be who you want to be with no preconceived ideas or judgments. I went through a similar thing. I went to a primary school, state primary school, and then I went to a different high school to the majority of my classmates. Was only six of us that went to this new high school, quite a large high school. And I thought, well, no one knows who I am. I can be whoever I want to be. I can basically reinvent myself, do a reset and not that I made any major changes, but I just thought I could if I wanted to. Yeah, that feeling of just being able to get away and reset must have been very refreshing in a way.
Nyoli:
It was, it saved me. It absolutely saved me. I don't know what I would have done if I'd stayed in Australia.
Nigel:
Okay, now do you have any daily or weekly ritual that helps you regain focus when things feel a bit scattered?
Nyoli:
That's a good question. Daily or weekly rituals? Well, I live a very, I guess, privileged life over here, you would say. And I have a beachfront house. So when it all gets too much, just going outside and staring at the ocean and just looking at the boats and the water is really good. Effect on the soul. I've always been attracted to the water and yeah if it's too much just stop, go outside, look at what's around. But the thing here, living here is I see people struggling every day. They struggle with life, they struggle to pay the bills, they struggle to buy food and we've just had a horrendous cyclone. So when you think things are bad for yourself, all you have to do is look outside your front door and realize it's not that bad.
Nigel:
Yeah, yeah. And I guess if you were still in Australia, by the sounds of it, that place you've got on the beach side would be maybe a bit of out of reach financially.
Nyoli:
It never would have happened. It never would have, unless I joined the Hollywood elite, that wasn't going to be a reality. But it's funny, when I was young, I always knew that I was going to end up living by the beach. We used to go to Fiji a lot. And then I started going to Vanuatu. And I always knew for some reason, deep down, I would live by the beach. I always knew I was going to live on an island. I mean, Australia, I live on a big island. But I always knew that. Thought though it would be in the South Pacific. I didn't know it was here. It would be Sri Lanka, different place. But yeah, I ended up where I always wanted to be.
Nigel:
Okay, thanks for that. Now, what's a communication habit that you've adopted that helps you deal with others?
Nyoli:
Now that's a good question because I'm living in a country where even though they're taught English in school, it's only written English. They're not taught spoken English. So they can write it, but a lot of them can't speak it. If I'm having, okay, so for example, I built a house and the tradespeople, none of them spoke English. I had carpenters, electricians, had plumbers and you know the mason and you know the main builder, no one spoke English. Communication came with sign language, it came with body language, came with know staring really really concentrating and staring someone in the eyes and trying to communicate with anything other than your than the spoken word you know using tone of voice so many different challenging things but you know in the end it worked and I worked for an international company and we have staff in several countries around the world and you know the Australian slang, the Australian language is often hard to interpret and what we as Australians, say and think as normal, other people have no idea what we're talking about, or it could be offensive, or it could mean something completely different. So I have to think carefully before communicating pretty much every day of my life and speaking slower, a lot slower.
Nigel:
Mmm. That, well, they say that nonverbal communication is the major part of communication, that words are there, obviously, and they have meaning, but it's the nonverbal part which really gets the message across. So I guess you in that situation, having to concentrate on those nonverbal aspects, have you found that's helped you communicating with English speakers?
Nyoli:
It probably has on a subconscious level. Because I'm so used to doing it every day now, like interacting with the neighbours. If I go outside or water my garden, you know, the ladies walking past will try and have a conversation with me, which is always interesting. And so you overcompensate on all the other areas except for the words that you're using. So I speak like a pigeon English. I will use every second or third word and everything else is going to be hand gestures, pointing, looking. So I probably end up doing it when I'm speaking to other English people and I'm unaware of it.
Nigel:
That's a tricky situation living in a country where you don't really speak the language, but it does have its advantages, I guess. What would you say are some of the advantages or are there advantages?
Nyoli:
Well, I have been trying to learn Sinhala which is the Sri Lankan language for six years now and their verb subject object is all in a different order to ours. So when we say, love you, they say, I you love. And when you ask for, you know, say a drink, they ask for drink one. So it's been difficult but I have some friends here I have some Australian friends here and when you are talking to them you're you don't know whether somebody is listening to you if they can understand you so you're very aware of you're still very aware of what you say because you don't want to offend anybody.
Nigel:
And do you feel any pressure if someone comes up and they just want to have a chat or is it sort of that they sort of assume you don't speak Sinhala so they don't try or how does that sort of affect your daily life?
Nyoli:
They're very friendly people and they want to talk to you and they want to know absolutely everything about you even if you can't communicate. They love their cricket. So when they find out I'm Australian, they're very, happy about that and we have to have this awkward conversation about cricket. But we can say things like Shane Warne or Ricky Ponting and we'll get through the conversation at some point. Here they're very friendly and they do go out of their way to get to know you. Like not just your name, but how old are you? You know, just everything. Where's your husband? They want to know everything.
Nigel:
Thank you. So I guess that could be, I mean, you've got your work life and then outside of that living in Sri Lanka, you're in a place where you don't speak the language or you're just starting to learn it. So I guess your brain's active a lot of the time. How do you recharge so you can show up well for others? So with your work, I know you communicate with a lot of people. A lot of people rely on you with what you do. How do you make sure that you're recharged, ready to go, so when others need you, you're there for them?
Nyoli:
Well, I've always operated on a very high level frequency. I seem to have unlimited energy and I seem to only need five hours sleep. That's enough for me. I'm up and I'm ready to go. And I've been like that my entire life. So I don't need to do a lot of relax and recharging and things to relax. Wow, okay, I water my plants. I have an amazing tropical garden. Know, just something like that. That's enough for me. That's how I'm wired.
Nigel:
Okay, and then when you're taking that downtime, do you completely shut off or do you still think about work or what do you normally do?
Nyoli:
I'm forever thinking about work. That just doesn't switch off my brain. I dream about it. I wake up, it's the first thing I think about. I'm very passionate about my job and my role. We've created some fintech, we've created an app. And I'm very, very passionate about it and I think about it constantly. And it's what gets me up every morning. Right, okay, what am I going to do now? How are we going to get it out there? So that's my driving force at the moment.
Nigel:
Right, okay, well you mentioned the app. While you're on here, your mose will give you a plug. What's the app called and where can people find out about it?
Nyoli:
Okay, so it's called My Brokers app and it's for financial advisors worldwide and it's really a client-centric app. Similar to think about your banking app. You look at your phone, you've got all your banking apps on there and one tap and you're in into your accounts. You can apply for loans. There's nothing you can't do in that app. Okay, you don't have to pick up the phone. The bank and go on hold. You don't have to walk into the branch and stand into if they still exist and stand in line. And it's the same for financial advisors. Now if you have somebody managing your money you would like to be able to access that person with one tap. I mean that's what we all do. We run our lives off our phone now right. We can there's nothing we can't do off our phone and so currently most companies have a have a login portal. You know you go in you got to type in the URL then you enter your password and then you can go in but you're still not accessing your financial advisor. All you're doing really is having a look at your probably your account and maybe they have some new investment products or something there for you. And the only way to communicate with them I guess is still pick up the phone or wait for an email or send them an email. So that just gets rid of all of that clunkiness that the older use technology and I mean technology is moving that fast now that a login portal is considered a bit old fashioned now. So we have this fully compliant app that financial advisors can invite their clients to. It's secure, data encrypted. Only the content that the financial advisor wants their clients to see, they will see. If the financial advisor wants to communicate with them, upload new products or send out newsletters, announcements, updates, he uploads it on the app. Bam, as a client they get ding, they get a little notification on the phone, instant communication with their financial advisor. It just makes sense. I mean, that's where the world's headed and that's what the other financial services offer. So why not financial advisors? The app that we've created is white labeled. Within 24 hours, they can have their app up and running. You know, we have a free version of the app. It doesn't have any ads or anything. They can have a free version of the app. It's completely branded to them. Their clients are going to think that they created it just for them. And no one's any the wiser. It's just a world first brilliant concept. I'm just so proud of it and yeah, I'll stop now because I'll keep talking for the next half an hour.
Nigel:
Wow, that sounds amazing and we'll put the website on this podcast as well so people know how to access it. Now back to downtime, you mentioned you like to do some gardening and just relax at times, but you're always thinking about work. You that downtime? Does that create any ideas that come to you unexpectedly could be a solution for a problem you've been thinking about or, or anything? Do you find that as a creative space for you, even though it's not meant to be?
Nyoli:
Absolutely and it's when your brain is at rest that it it finds the answers to the questions to the hurdles or to other things that you've been thinking about and trying to resolve but obviously when you think too hard it's You're blocking your creative brain so by just allowing your brain not even think about it Just it just comes to you. It's it's a bizarre thing. You know you put it out there. I need an answer to this It's been bugging me all day and when you least expect it, often in the middle of the night. It'll wake you up at two o'clock in the morning and go, yes, that's it. Okay, great. And then you can get back on with your life. But yeah, that's why it's really important for people to have downtime to just let their brain do what it does best.
Nigel:
I mean, the days have just been tied to your office all day long and working it while they're gone. Well, they shouldn't have been here in the first place. You really do need that time to get away and let your brain relax and let your brain think of things that you're not forcing it to, to get out, go for a walk, do something and let your mind wander and see what it comes up with.
Nyoli:
Yeah, well you look at in the past all our great inventions, the wheel, you know, the telephone, the light bulb. These people didn't have full-time jobs. They weren't stuck in an office.
Nigel:
No, no, exactly, exactly. Okay, Nyoli look, I will wrap it up there. Thank you very much for your time today. It's been very enlightening. You've got an incredible story and I'm sure our listeners have enjoyed that immensely. Now, before you go, what's one bit of advice that you'd like to pass on to people that you found handy in your life?
Nyoli:
Don't be afraid to do what you want to do, what you have to do, what you need to do in life because life is too short and there's too many people out there that live by others' expectations or worry about what people think about them. They hold themselves back because of naysayers. You know, take our example of the app, you know. A lot of people probably said you can't afford it, you can't do it, why are you doing it, you know, how do you get progress? You become brave. If you believe in something do it. Like I had everybody telling me leaving Australia and going to Sri Lanka was the wrong thing to do, what are you doing, blah blah blah. No. It's what I had to do for myself and it has taken me back to where I needed to be. I don't know what my life would have been like if I stayed put in Australia. I wouldn't be living a normal life like I am now. So just don't be afraid and don't listen to others. Just listen to yourself. That would be my piece of advice.
Nigel:
Fantastic. Put yourself in the priority lane.
Nyoli:
Exactly. Put yourself in the priority lane for once. And if you're a parent, that's a bit hard to do. And sometimes you might have to wait until they've left school or left home, but it's still important to do.
Nigel:
Yep, so true. Okay, Nyoli, thank you very much for that. And everyone else have a great week and we'll see you next time on the priority line.
Nyoli:
Thank you, Nigel.
Nigel:
Thank you.